Okay, it’s now 2:30 in the morning and I still haven’t fallen asleep. TRUST me, I’ve been working on it, but I just can’t get comfortable. I keep thinking there are bed bugs crawling on me…. eeeeewwwww…. I haven’t actually seen any of the “bed bugs” in my bed, but I did find a solitary intruder in our living room about a week ago. I smashed it and put it in a plastic baggie as proof in case I ever needed to prove something like that. Well, right now I am completely miserable. I am utterly exhausted (especially as I woke up this morning at 7:30 AM because of this crazy phobia) and I am perpetually itchy. I know that the main culprits are probably the mosquitoes that keep finding their way in to our place, but after seeing that one bug last week it really freaks me out. The other night I woke up to feel SOMETHING running down my arm. [Shudder.] Today I bought a canister vacuum, a caulking gun, and sprayable foam to fill in any large cracks. I caulked most of my room, but I’m still horrified.

Here are some of the thoughts I’ve had in my head this evening:

“Maybe I should just get a room at the Mariott around the corner tomorrow night…” (night before my headshots)

“I think I might need therapy.”
(these thoughts are then interuppted by a sudden itching on my butt, followed by me popping up in bed, switching on the lights, pulling down the covers, and trying to look at my rear for any possible signs of bites.) This then reminds me that my underwear is really ugly and I really need to do my laundry tomorrow.

“Shoot, tomorrow is Monday and I have to wake up in 5 hours.”

“I wonder if there’s anywhere around here that does eyebrow waxing…”

“I really need to get some sleep because I have my headshots on Tuesday!”

“Was that a bug on my arm!?”
(after sitting up and flipping on the light)

“No, just an errant piece of hair.”

“Crap, I’m so worked up about this I’m actually losing my hair.”

I have probably turned my bedroom lights on and off about fifty times since I first attempted to go to bed this evening. Every time I flip that light switch, I pop out of bed and carefully inspect my sheets, comforter, mattress topper, and mattress/boxspring. This is RIDICULOUS. I wish that someone would just come and give me a tranquilizer so I could catch some zzz’s.

3 thoughts on “Sleepless

  1. A View from the Middle September 24, 2007 / 10:38 am

    This post had me laughing out loud-vacuum well, finish the caulking and foaming, then tonight before bed, a benadryl and some milk. sweet dreams.

  2. Anonymous September 24, 2007 / 11:04 am

    Being very sensitive to bug bites, I am itching as I read your report. I know nothing about bed bugs but for mosquitos, put some dryer sheets in the pockets of yout pants, jacket, etc. I hope all goes well for you. Your loving Oma

  3. Christopher September 29, 2007 / 6:36 pm

    Love it. The visual in my head is hilarious.

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